Upon the passing of my Grandmother

Just spoke to my father. Grandmother just died. He didn't go into details.

Damage control time I guess.

Mind you this is shock and I'm running on experience, not sanity.

She was 84 years old. When she started her time in the hospital she was 79. Since then she lost alot of weight and was extremely healthy for a woman with Parkinson's. She was doing so well that she got off her diabetic meds and was reduced for her Parkinson's also. She was always lucid as well as busy. She lived through alot of hardships and was always kind and loving. 

My favorite memory is that she grew up Catholic and always had a rosary in her hands and constantly prayed with it until my Uncle found God in another denomination and it would be embarrassing for her to continue to pray one manner in another's House. She told me that she is supportive, but not stupid with a sly look. She said that she still prays without them. She just "counts" with her fingers using her knuckles.She said that God didn't mind. "He know where I am and what I'm up to." 

My response also tickled her. In semi shock I said, "Grandma, you're an ass. Is this where I get it?" Her response was "Honey you have plenty of that from both sides."

HA! She lived well. When they noticed that her kidneys failed and dialysis was not working they asked her if she understood and she let them know that she fought enough. Even in her last moments the staff thought of her as kindhearted. Oddly enough a Priest came down to see her and give her last rights. I'm surprised they let him by, but I guess he has been visiting lately and that made her cheer up a bit. She gave her love to those present and let them know she was ready.

They gave her a strong does of morphine and allowed her heart to stop beating. She passed peacefully and calmly at 3 pm yesterday afternoon. So, yea.......good life.

Sorry good people. I'm ok really, but I don't do death well. I'm not bawling or in the corner in the fetal. I'm a bit jaded with death over all. Death happens. In my situation it happens alot, but it does take an effect with me In this situation is was not dying, but it is a celebration of a good life. I have more of an issue with people passing quickly or traumatically. I knew my grandmother's time was close years ago and I did what I could to take advantage of it. It's the reason I have no issues spoiling small animals or certain people. It's why I don't attempt to carry grudges or simply learn to live with them wishing assholes well. Life is precious when you have it and when you don't you are going to be missed. The best you can do is leave people with good memories while you can. Sadly, I can equate death in a simple statement while being silly and stupid at once.

"The worse part about being dead is that you are not alive anymore."

I know I have issues, but I'm still kind of happy since it still takes something from me. I met a few people who it does not bother. Those fuckers scare me.

So I'm ok. I might have a little more alone time, but I'm ok. Life is good and this was a life well lived with all opportunity. I can only hope we all do the same.