Speaking to a good friend yesterday, I realize that I'm a bit of an oddity, especially when she calls me one. This usually come to light when we are discussion how I don't usually fit with what the majority of "alpha males" are doing to get the attention of potential mate. I've come to realize that I guess it's my fault since I usually make most people, especially women confused, so I'm going to screw around with a pamphlet that helps people figure me out a bit more. The working title is going to be "So I find you attractive: a concise guide to what I actually mean when I say it." Some topics include:
What do I want from you? Nothing really:how hanging out is just that and not a sneaky way into your pants.
What's your favorite color?: How I usually pick things up for people since I see them and how it does not mean I'm trying to getting you to "owe me" and probably paying you back for treating for a meal.
Why are you breaking up with me or giving me the girlfriend talk?: Even if we hang out and I care alot about you, it does now mean we are in a relationship. If I haven't seen you at minimum naked I don't need the girlfriend talk. That's just your emotions trying to deal with someone who actually cares about others. Imagine that, care about you without sex?
"Oh wow, this is an interesting conversation we are having......um, my boyfriend also cares about this topic....:How it's ok to enjoy a conversation without having guilt of having one without your significant other. No, it' snot cheating. It's just being interesting. You know, like that beer guy? Interesting?
"It's kind of late do you want to crash here?" : How I didn't get your hint on sleeping with you and you should probably just come out an mention it. I'm a simple creature who doesn't think he is attractive, especially after that threeway you talked about just a little while ago.
"Wait.....what are you doing? Why did you stop?": How I listen to the word "No" and how to cope with that. I know, I actually listened.
And so many more! Sign up now and you also get a list of things that I care about and not give a rat's ass for, such as....
*I like science and research not fairy tales and stories of your friends brother that proves that dogs have souls or leprechauns.
*Being nice to rude people is my way of laughing since I know they're so close to getting beat down and I want people to see how much of an ass they are before I snap
*I don't care about famous people or millionaires. I'm sure they have their issues and problems. I just don't care. Anyone who can afford a decent amount of food in their fridge are not usually on my list so......oh well
And!
*Someone is being an ass on tv and everyone is talking about it.......ok, I'm going to continue not to care about twerking, or tongues out, or being high on camera because.....well, I rather not deal with stupid shit when there are real things to deal with.
AND MUCH....MUCH MORE! Order yours now.
*takes a bow*
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