When no one is looking.....

When no one is looking.....

1. I do the cookie dance if I have said cookie in my grasp. The larger the cookie the longer the dance.
2. I hide money in your pockets and purses, especially when you didn't let me pay when I wanted to.
3. I pull out quarters out of my pocket and pop them into random parking meters.
4. I try not to step on ants.
5. I have conversations with the dog/cat/phone that includes polite titles.
6. I also hug said pets and whisper that I love them so much and spoil them any chance I get so when their time is up I never feel that I never had the chance to show them how much I loved them.
7. I make random fart sounds using my mouth until I laugh myself silly.
8. I peak. Sometimes I wish I didn't. Other times I'm not impressed.
9. I run my finger into a new jar of peanut butter and leave my mark.
10. I pick up random baby clothes in their odd toddler like hangers and make them walk and then hug them before I put them back to the rack.
11. I make funny faces at others and play it off when they look towards me.
12. I check out women three times. Once to see if they are generally attractive to me. Two to check out how cute their outfit is and make mental notes to share with others who know that flats can ruin the effect. And the third time, to see if I can pick up any cool points markers, i.e. cool books, geek stalk, random nerd quotes that make me squeal in my head.
13. Randomly squeal in my head over how awesome something is while looking unphased.
14. I imitate you. I'm getting kind of good, but I still have trouble with the ears.
15. Sock puppets.
16. I move a random quarter vending machine toy monkey that I keep at your place to random places. So far, you don't notice.
17. I put on your hats, glasses, and scarves to take off notice of the fact that I still have trouble doing the ears.
18. I wake up and hug myself ok, making sure that the horrible nightmare I had didn't chase me here and try to remind myself that I'm not 6 anymore. Doesn't really help unless I am able to sleep with someone, or a pet, or stuffed animal to remind me that it's ok.
19. I still have stuffed animals and not you can't have them since they are mine and they mean the world to me.
20. I wonder why you are not looking and decide to look in the direction you are looking.
21. I tend to cut myself, light myself on fire, or bruise myself. I wish you were looking cause I have no idea how this is happening to me. Oh well.....what are you looking at?
22. Sing off key until I make fart sounds with my mouth and so on.
23. I smile.
24. I do what needs to be done before people start to realize that something isn't done.
25. I miss a handful of people and wonder why the world has take me away from them.