Shower Epiphany: How much less can I give you? Pt. 1

So the other day I get seriously pist off by someone who thinks I'm hitting on them when in truth I'm doing my best to avoid them in any social way. Made me doubt myself for a good while saying what few hours I spend with them is somehow equivalent to me paying attention to them in some sort of romantic way.

Yea.....that kind of confused the fuck out of me. And then I think about some of you people who I haven't seen and spoken to in the longest time. People who keep telling me I need to call/visit/get on a damn plane after I burned every last bridge behind me. I think about you and I honestly what the fuck is wrong with them and what the fuck is wrong with me. I'm getting "the talk" as if I'm planning something when most people who actually know me know that I'm not only antisocial, but I make lesser antisocial people more social by comparison. And somehow I'm forcing intentions on someone? Are you sure you think it's me and not anyone else?

Seriously? I'm still trying to figure out what I'm doing to seduce. I'm having a minimal conversation and some guys send pictures of their wiener to people they barely know. You're going to lump me up with them? Really?

As if I'm not the person who cuts ties as quick as I can breathe? Really? And I started to entertain the idea! As if I'm somehow shoving subliminal messages to them. Goodlets have sexmorning or something. Geesh. I showed my entire interaction to The Boy and I asked, am I crazy to be insulted or am I somehow doing this? He laughed and realized that some of the stories that I tell him may be true after all.

I mean, I already feel like a pariah most of the time and would not sooner stop talking in general, but damn this individual has made me feel more uneasy than anyone and they still have the fucking idea that I'm hitting on them? REALLY??!?!?!?

Shit like this just solidify the idea that I'm going to die alone and I'm actually starting to like the concept.

Geesh. Maybe I should leave everyone alone. Here I have friends who have driven hours and miles away to drive me back to spend fucking time with my antisocial ass and I'm somehow forcing intentions on someone? Really? Is my ego that unchecked? Am I doing something new?

That's it. New rule, I'm walking around with a pointy stick and I'm poking anyone who makes eye contact with me. Sorry, they fucked it up for anyone stupid enough to think I'm worth their time. Oh wells.....