Shower Epiphany:La mejor salsa del mundo es la hambre, y como esta no falta a los pobres, siempre comen con gusto.

I know I haven't written a while since I'm in a peaceful place in life. I've come to realize why this pisses me off: I am a creature of chaos.

Allow me to explain.

I am someone who is used to constant and never ending change. I am a child of Entropy and I thrive in continuing change. Meaning that if you put me in straight I will become determined and angry and a good chance of suicidal behavior that will end me up in either missing teeth or adding to my "collection". Not a good thing for me. This is me in constant insomnia, consistent pressure and odds are against me to the point that I'm a loser bet. This inspires me to and forces me to push forward for a goal of making people eat crow and suffer for doubting me. This has made me stubborn, but very recluse. Not good for a creative outlook.

In complete opposite, I get continual 8-9 hour sleep. Life is not only "good", but boring. It makes me slow and lazy. It taxes me in a way that warriors of old would end up going mad knowing that eternal peace would force them to dire measures. It's me playing three weeks of WoW letting my body to become lax, injured to the point where I can only wait and sit, it's me in love. That continually constant and steady does of oxytocin makes me ......soft. And that softness in my experience always leads me into a lulled mind and a unsuspected fall that ends up with me cursing myself for letting it happen.

You can see why I have issues with sleeping now. Makes me too vulnerable.

And yet, I need a constant amount of chaos. I need to charge into my windmills as only Cervantes could understand. I need to be broken and sore while having small transmittances of peaceful recluse. I need to carry a banner, even if it's a lost cause and a target on my back. I need to hunt and be hunted. I need to sleep and to dream. I desire the physical conflict and the mental challenge that life has given me in real and intangible means. I need to remain hungry to know how sweet food is. I need to sport bruises to carry an audience of my tales. I need to suffer enough to keep me awake and yet allow me to slumber for small moments. If enthalpy is allowed to rule then I know I am simply too close to death in one form or another.

Pain is growth. Growth is adaption and evolution. Evolution is immortality.

If unchallenged, why would I want to continue? What is life without my windmills? Seriously, I'm asking you. I'm searching for new windmills to keep me sane.

SO happy as I am, I know I can slumber peacefully and remain asleep. that long sleep will be the death of me and that angers me, not enough to create, but enough to know that I need to find more windmills.

Don't be food.

Shower Epiphany: Happy Birth/Memorial day!

Call it morbid, but I think I'll die in the same month as my b-day, just to make it easier on others. Then they can hold a memorial and celebration in the same month. Saves time. I'm not sure if I can do it for the same day or even week though unless I take matters into my own hands. So let's just play it loose and hope for the best.

*bows*

Shower Epiphany: Criminal ceremony and Unearned Respect

I'm not one to revel in ceremony since most ceremony is used by charlatans and crooks to hide their intentions. Saying this, I do not buy into the concept of titles or any type of honor bound positions, especially if they're handed out at birth. I do not respect fathers/mothers, brothers/sister, aunts/uncles, because blood ties us in. I have relatives who are in all ways assholes and I do not bite my lip or hold my tongue in keeping reserve. I call it my duty to call people out in their bullshit as much as I hope others would for me. So if I'm wrong, I'll take that moment to ponder if I am and the such, but this is not possible without someone telling me.

In that, I can not tell you how much I despise yes-men/women. If someone is wrong they're wrong. I rather not hold my tongue to save any face especially if someone is holding their word as gospel. I do not buy into that automatic head bow or respect given. Respect is earned and fought for. You may be a blank slate when meeting me but I will always hold your words and actions to a judging eye and see who you are since most people who declare themselves as one thing usually are not.

In saying this, if you do not agree you can fuck yourself. I've had a life time of people's deception and lies when most of it can be removed with a simple admittance of "I'm not sure". So no, you are not a mother simply because you give birth, but by the end results and methods you take to raise a child to be independent and socially responsible, not someone who is going to be dependent on your word and action. That is the worst kind of cruelty and I have danced many a dance on certain individuals deaths since that was the only method of freeing people mentally shackled to a human being even until death and sadly sometimes afterwards.

Titles are worthless. Respect is earned. Nothing is a given.

Shower Epiphany: Imagine no Fear

I've come to realize that if I can dismantle the Atheist movement to one of it's key component it would be do not teach a child anything fear based.  I'll explain.

When a child is born until the age of let's say 14 or so when they're able to develop empathy, children basically learn how the universe works. One physical as in, gravity pulls things down, day/night, how their bodies work, and cause and effect. Until a certain age they stumble through life understanding how their actions affect the physical world and the physical world affect their actions. Simply things that lead to so many why questions chained together in a desire to understand the rules of how the world works.

The second relationship they learn is social. Who wears pants and dresses. Why we speak certain words and try not to speak others. How to communicate with each others and trying to understand or ignore the differences in others. In the early years we discover out first protectors, our parents as we are powerless and let them guide us into life. They, if present, teach us the ceremonies that will show us how to behave among others as well as our first imprint of our moral compass. Here we learn if it's ok to hurt others and under what conditions it's alright, wrong in others and how some things are right and wrong. Here we teach them to question and/or accept. They are taught to ponder or to trust willingly. They are taught the values in life not only in verbal responses, but also in environmental ques.

Here is where we arrive at our issue and I think we can make this a universal issue and goal if we can simply all agree with it. Since most of us, myself included, have spent a good chunk of life trying to undo what our parent taught us. Sometimes out of survival and other times out of ignorance of anything better. And others because it's best not to question and keep your eyes on the ground. Here we have many ideologies and any methods that in truth we can not see their error until a generation is finally "grown". This is when the young in either revered or sacrificed to the needs of the elder generation, in many cases to simply support a system that may not be best. Here is where I think we can breach the gap where many raise weapons as well as prejudices based in false information.

If we all agree not to raise our children in fear. Now, let me explain. I do not mean to avoid the concept of fear as in taking an action that can hurt or make a life difficult such as drinking bleach, killing someone or anything else that has a high risk of harm to anyone involved. What I mean is when the child questions we have to offer an answer that is not based in fear. We have people working their lives at jobs because they fear having nothing. We have people who horde weapons and ideologies that are used as weapons to "protect" them from others. We have a habit of painting people as "OTHERS" and "THEM" and making our comparisons in a protagonist/antagonist structure rather than people with various view that have a connecting point with each other in A), B) or C).

If we can attempt to explain the world to this new generation without fear then we can improve life. If we can give them an understanding with information based in reason (we have this in common and we are able to communicate to share ideas) rather than fear (i.e. because they are not us and we are not them) we can prevent dehumanizing others as well as ourselves in the process. We can make our conflicting issues and make them minor. We can make the issues that lead us to harm others and make them what they are, barbaric and self limiting. We can hold a standard that was held by few societies and among many people who may have been in one official camp or claim to a label yet can see that an action or principle is universal and if you show kindness, understanding and empathy rather than fear, narrow mindedness, and bigotry we can be ahead of the game. I don't mind Jesus until you have Jesus camp. I don't mind Islam until I'm called an infidel. I don't mind Scientology, Mormonism, or even the Jehovah witnesses until I hear how people are separated into categories rather treated as people and the facade of lets be kind to each other is removed to show how old men plan on making life better for old men. I don't mind some atheists until they start making taking up old ideal that religion is condemned on as a means of removing religion off the face of the earth (there was another nice little German man who spoke the same way, wonder how he ended up?).

If we can agree with removing fear form out lives as well as a medium for teaching the new generation we can end some conflict and all actually earn those titles of "peacemaker" for ourselves rather than the one of many guns we own.

Just a thought.

Shower Epiphany: Do not go gentle into that good night.

Ok, I'm going to repost this an add a bit more.

I've been suffering with depression since I was 25. At first I thought it was just my situation or the fact that I lived alot, but I'm starting to admit that this is heavier than me. There are moments when I have to work hard to care about getting up, going outside, and starting my days. Brushing my teeth is sometimes the hardest thing to do and if you honestly know me you know that I never back down from anything. There are times when I have to get away from people because I feel that I'm pulling them down with me. That I can not add anything to make things better or to offer others. There are moments that I have to get away from others and fight this on my own. 

Through the years I've used many things as my reason to get up and fight back. Mariama Alizor and Jahbril Justice Muhammad have always been my torch in the heaviness. David Tran has been one of my longest friends and have understood that there are moments that I need to be around others for my own and other times I need to get away from others. I've lost many friends and family along the way and buried many relationships. For years I've tried to find natural and unnatural ways to help me in this. Exercise helps. Eating meals every three hours helps. Sleeping helps greatly, but insomnia and caffeine can sabotage me greatly. So I have to keep on it. I have to be proactive and times I have to get outside and around supportive people unless I entertain thoughts.

I have to admit, I have thought about taking my life and the consensus is unless I can reason myself into it, I won't do it. There is too much of a fight in me even if I'm going to lose. I know I can't win each and every time, but I know I can spoil the joy of others easily. That's me sticking it to life. I refuse to let anything win and gloat. The day I do pass on, death is going to say "the bastard fought me tooth and nail and I think I lost out. The fucker made me hurt!" So I'm taking the first step in cheating death and losing out to depression by talking about it.

Watching this kid talk about it helped me understand that I can not go silent. I must do what I do best: Bitch, complain, drag my feet and make a huge stink  until I can beat this.

I'm not insane. I'm not cruel or on drugs. I do not over eat or drink and I try to keep my life as an example of what others can do, even without talent and everything against them. I'm a nice person when I'm able to smile, but the smiles hurt my face since the muscles atrophied and I refuse to fake any emotion. I love others more than me and will/have/still will give my last nickle to anyone and pull anyone from the hell they live. I value my life not on who I am but how much good I can go in a day. I figure if I can't be happy or just "normal" that I make someone else happy. 

You know. Give out what you want in hopes of getting it one day. One day.

I want to leave this life proving that even if the world is against you can make it your bitch. You can do anything and anyone who stand in your way will eat crow. SO in the same spirit I'm posting this again. I suffer from depression. I've been suffering from it for years. I'm not ashamed at all and I don't care what you think of me. I'm going to work to make life better and look for solutions. 

And if I lose out.........don't worry. I'm not going easy and I'm going to fight every step away like I always do. If I can't win I'm going to make the fight easier for others. I want to make sure my children do not suffer from the stigma. I want them to understand that genius comes with it's price and it doesn't have to take us like so many others before us. Marilyn Monroe, Stephen Fry, and people closer to me who have already pass on cause of this suffer/suffered from this. I don't want to be a silent chain anymore.

So, yea.....I suffer from depression. So.....yea.

P.S. If you don't like this, you can take a flying fuck. I may get depressed, but I know an asshole when I see one.




http://www.upworthy.com/this-kid-thinks-we-could-save-so-many-lives-if-only-it-was-okay-to-say-4-words?c=ufb1

Shower Epiphany: Removing Attachments from Existence or Zen for the Minimalist

The following conversation has had been had many times. Not just yesterday, but years. the identities of the said persons are held in secret because I'm good at that. SO if you see yourself or if we had this conversion, I simply say I'm not picking on you. I had this many times before. Don't get butthurt. That's the whole issue here.

Questioning Celebratory Person: OMG, I can't believe you don't celebrate your own birthday. 
Me: It's not a big deal to me.
QCP: How is this not a big deal? I make people celebrate a whole weekend/week/month. My birthday is a holiday in my house!
Me: I grew up as a single child. The sad part was that I was the third born, so I was a very spoiled child. Spoiled, yet lonesome since I didn't have siblings and spent most of my time alone. In the long run of things I was a spoiled brat who was used to everything being there because everything was there. I have loving parents, but no social economic benefit to be spoiled. I didn't learn this until I left home at 16 and learned the hard way that I can't and won't have it my way, especially since no one is going to sacrifice their well being to give me that. So I had my spoiled time and I reflect on that today and am happy to say the world does not revolve around me.
QCP: *usually disregard everything I've said* Yea, but it's a time for celebrations and an excuse to party.
Me: Yea, well I come from a culture that a child's party is not cake and balloons, but usually adults drinking it up for your reason to be. And I've learned that people don't need an excuse to party. They're going to do it anyways and while I can't stop them I'm not one to get surrounded by strangers and be the center of attention. They can celebrate Canada Day all they want. I enjoy small moments with friends that have no social worth.
QCP: *still not getting it* Yea, but you can make people do what you want and listen to you. You can call the shots and have it your way. It's your special day!
Me: I know, but I'd rather not foster resentment in any way related with my birth. I don't like to demand or even ask. If people offer I usually decline, but I'm starting to learn that accepting is another way of allowing people to show appreciation even though I've learned to depend on no one and just the smile on their faces is more than enough.
QCP: *still not getting it* But Presents!
Me: I'm not a material person anymore. I value others more than that. I rather have people happy to see me than to give me things. 
QCP: *disappointed that I'm not getting it* Well, ok, whatever......just a waste.
Me: You are always welcome to celebrate what ever you want. I just rather not be the center of attention.
QCP: yea.....sure. *introducing  something frivolous to the conversation and this is where I usually blank out or walk away.*

Love's Naloxone Or Taking the Anti-love pill. Part Twelve – You learn: There is no off.

The night was like so many others. There was little sleep to be had and remaining prone simply made me feel all of the frustration of the moment. I only had three hours under my belt when I woke up. There is a nightmarish point when you wake and realize that you can either go back to sleep and not wake until past noon or you can simply take what you have and make functioning a goal for the day. There are many times when the days simply blend into each other. It’s something I’ve learned to live with and it’s probably something that if going to continue. I stopped curing years ago since like praying I found it more for ceremony than progress.

You pray you learn
You ask you learn
You live you learn

          There was nothing more to do than to hit the shower. The warm water did little to aid in my disposition. My morning ritual was on automatic as I somehow washed and dragged a razor across my face in some feat that still amazes me on the same level of not remembering how I ended up driving somewhere. In the end, it’s all reflex and my life is much more reflex than ceremony. I walked out to a rising sun, as I greeted it in my usual manner: wondering why it took so long in a growl of contempt and lack of patience. The magic of sunrises has been lost to me at this point and attempting to gather some sort prose in the name of Wordsworth is something that I can not bear anymore.

          My morning was full with a chance of hardship. I’m worrying about many things from my future, the health of my father, and my mortality to name a few. The drive westward is empty and unmemorable. It’s all reflex at this point. I contemplate thoughts that many would consider too morbid and dark and yet people wonder how I’m able to run forward and do what must be done without fail. There isn’t a morning that I do not contemplate my place in the universe. I’m not a proponent in any way and I’m still puzzled why I out of many possible spawn have won out in the statistical end. I’m in no way suicidal, but I do contemplate why I’ve had wroth with my hands and take this moment seriously. After all, I need to keep driven. I can not rest.

          My thoughts have collected into a theme. While listening to Jerry Seinfeld explain to Howard, that he can not be comfortable. There are some professions that can not entertain the idea of becoming comfortable. You can not enjoy your moment in the sun for the reason that your ability is based in some sort of misery. It’s something I’ve have been contemplating for years. It’s an idea that I have been chewing on and in truth has saved me from walking down the street. It’s a validation that I, just as Keanu Reeves, am not happy person. You have happy people and you have unhappy people. Not everyone can enjoy the sweetness of joy and for some of us that taste is too far between or in some cases just not sweet anymore.

You bleed you learn
You scream you learn
You laugh you learn

          I arrive at what I am consider my safe haven. I open the door as a small blonde walks towards me in greeting. She is in many ways a joy to me. I walk over and give what love I have to give and offer her a kinder greeting than the sun has received. She is vested and leashed and we walk out in the morning to an empty street. I have to be awake this morning. Too many things is riding on me and I need to be able to shine even if it’s gilded. We walk towards the donut shop that is the only thing that remains open here. Coffee is what I need even though I’m giving up some abilities for remaining awake. I made up my mind in the shower and I’m at peace. Outside the open shop, my little companion starts to do her happy dance and I break her heart by tying her outside and telling her that she isn’t getting a donut hole. Her tummy has been icky and that movement she had confirms my choice in the matter. She is going to ride my sentiments, but it’s all for the best.

          I walk in and I can tell I am already a regular. Small talk is exchanged with money as I choose the French Breakfast option: Usually coffee, croissant and an unfiltered smoke, but you can do only so much these healthy days. This is the business I have chosen for myself and being able to breath is a must. While in the shop a woman peaks out and asks me if she can pet my patient friend. I nod in approval and her face shines with joy as I finish my transaction. The carrot juice catches my eye, but I didn’t carry enough money with me.

          That’s ok, I didn’t want it anyways.

          I exit to a smiling friend and a happy woman. At first I think the couple is homeless, but it takes me a small moment to correct this. We have a pleasant conversation as we walk down the street. Oddly enough, my companion has softened my image as well as my heart. I usually move in a way that either hides me from the eyes of others if I’m lucky. Most of the time I’ve seen and most people switch sides if not give me my right of way. These days I’m only insulted by close friends or people who have no idea that my vocal mind resides in this body. To say that I am menacing it not a new thing. Even at 120lbs I’ve carried a dark cloud, so to say. Something about my eyes or the way I lead forward in my walk that seem to scream, “Don’t fuck with me”.

          And yet, you place a small dog by my side and somehow I’m either a spectacle to admire or I’m actually approachable. My small companion has already earned my share of smiles and numbers. I can almost feel that we are trading off our outwardly personas for what we really want to be. She struts forward and has made a large dog or two back off while I soften the mask on my face to something a bit more human and outwardly compassionate. To be honest, I haven’t felt this way since I was still a father rather than a parental icon. It’s the kind of thing that makes most people dumbstruck as they see me human.

          Our casual conversation led us to different paths as the young vagabonds walked away hand in hand as it struck me. While talking they shared with me something special. They shared with me a moment of their lives I’ve come to just realize now is why I’m still here. That small act of affection warmed my heart and even unearthed memories of a past life. Seeing two people against the world, holding hands has made me yearn if only for a moment for someone to hold my hand also. I do get these moments and I’ve realize that it’s something that I miss and yearn for as one would yearn for a cool glass of water on a muggy day. Watching them walk off I could is better than any thing I’ve had in a long while.

          Somehow nights of sweat soaked sheets is not enough.

          I replace the music back into my ears and skip the songs that come up in favor of something that will help me hold on to the feeling a bit longer. It’s rare that I feel this way and actually welcome it. Perhaps it’s because the street is still empty or that my dancing companion is smiling in hopes of a bit of a nibble. It’s something I do not try to dwell on. My chances of love have always been a bit too few and a bit too shady. I can only think of a few people that I had the chance to spend a moment of joy with without any tinge of bitterness or a scar and of those I can only laugh at since they’re almost too ridiculous to share. To give a taste, of the randomness and confusion of it all, one of my best relationships has been with a lesbian. Yea……..you can only imagine how confusing and heart wrenching it can be. Imagine that, being worthy enough to love, yet not worthy to spend your entire life with due your gender.

          Yea……had to stop seeing each other. It’s not fair to anyone.

          And yet something she said stick with me still. The concept that I’m someone worth loving even if its not going to end well, words that haunt me today. Imagine that. I’m worth the trouble, but just not in the long run. I’m that temptation that has to be sought out. I’m that one person it seems that brings a change in most people, but just not worth having part of that change. I’m the catalyst that makes women change their behavior and find themselves. It’s an honor I’m told and yet I can not help feeling like toilet paper. Toilet paper is that important. It’s needed and if you can get the good stuff it’s even luxurious. It’s just not something that you keep. You use toilet paper, not keep. In fact, once you’ve used it you don’t want it near you. You want it gone and not to be a reminder of how great it is. When do you miss it? When it’s gone. When do you appreciate it? When it’s gone.  When do you realize that it’s better than most? When you’re using it.

You live you learn
You love you learn
You cry you learn
You lose you learn

Must I go on?

          I stop at a grassy point to contemplate the emotion. I don’t give my self much time to pine usually, but I guess it’s needed. My small companion finds something interesting in a bunch of leaves as she decided where exactly she wants to mark. It was a touching moment back there. It also brought back a few memories here and there that made return to my original thought: The idea that certain people’s talent comes form suffering. It’s the reason why some bands mellow in time, writers lose their edge, and why some comics that made people laugh in their youth are now making Disney movies. Comfort is the thing that for some of us keeps us from reaching seeing what disturbs us and how we can catch hold of it again. It’s the cure for our creativity and the bane of our Muse. And there are very few things that bring me peace that is lasting. And sadly, I’m starting to realize that when I’m told I’ve changed what that means.

Swallow it down (what a jagged little pill)
It feels so good (swimming in your stomach)

          I have for the past 15 years have been attempting to find peace from anger. It’s something that naturally you’d want to be free from, right? The Dalai Lama  compared anger as holding a hot coal in your hands long enough to throw it at someone, when all that is accomplished is burning your hands. Well that’s well and fine, but what do you do when your every waking moment is fueled by anger. Anger from injustice, the past, the stupidity of others, the arrogance of youth, the audacity of the aged, and the lack of empathy of anyone who feels that the lives of millionaires are worth the attention of a generation that the issues that make it’s life harder. I’m not one to erupt violently. I usually channel my rage in my writing and in humor, finding silly ways of making people look as stupid as they refuse to acknowledge. It helps that I look like I can handle myself in a fight and that I usually can back up my point with sense and proof. Yet, overall I don’t root my actions in spite or hatred even though I’m usually ticked off.

I recommend biting off more than you can chew to anyone
I certainly do
I recommend sticking your foot in your mouth at any time

Feel free

          Perhaps it’s that honesty that attracts others to me. Mayhaps it’s the fact that I can be intellectually playful or that I am able to cut to the bone when ever it’s needed. What ever the reason, I pull people to me because of the fact that I emulate a behavior that most people do not have. It’s quite natural to be attracted to someone with traits that you wish you had, but usually it’s a reason not to attain those traits on your own. That somehow those traits are just going to be passed down upon you through some rule of copulation. Sometimes those traits are attained and other time it’s what is holding a relationship together.

I recommend getting your heart trampled on to anyone
I recommend walking around naked in your living room

Sadly, when I’m in love there comes a time where I change. Blame it on the influx of estrogen or perhaps the fact that I find someone I can fall sleep with and trust. Either I usually end up happy. I end up looking at things in a different light and my anger actually subsides. Then everything else ends up as usual. After a period of time the relationship ends, I’ve been told that I either changed or the usual speal of outgrowing, the separations, the call back 6 to 9 months later and then the anger on the other side because I simply won’t forgive and return with my tail between my legs. The former is refreshing, but the latter is what is usual. And yet, it’s usually this time that I wonder who the hell I am and start to wake up to my inner self and by then the anger returns and I’m back to my self again.

Throw it down (the caution blocks you from the wind)
Hold it up (to the rays)

I’ve done much to change this, thinking that this is something that is wrong with me. Of course I do not hurt others with it, or have any health problems outside of the occasional bought of insomnia like I’m having now, but writing has been great in freeing my rage and even allowing me to come to terms with things that has always bothered me. Finding ways of expressing my anger to force use of my verbal IQ rather than cause me to act out destructively has helped communicate with and help others with their own issues. And yet, I’m told that my health will degenerate and life will never be joyful unless I reach certain criteria.

You grieve you learn

And then I read about Keanu Reeves. If you have no idea, just google sad Keanu. And I listen to Howard and how he has changed and found someone to make him happy and yet, he is still the person who is fueled his anger. Hearing Seinfeld explain how being comfortable removes that misery that forces you used to get you where you are. That’s fine if you are happy and want out, but if you want to push yourself you can not remove it. That comfort is going to kill your muse. Reading Henry Rollins explain this concept just a few weeks ago and how he has stopped touring with Black Flag and yet still have enough drive to keep him happy and his happiness is rooted in his rage. There are people who can not be happy because that happiness or comfort is just going to kill them off form their creative process. It’s that thing that forces them to get up and try to make a change. Without it, they would probably just curl up and feel empty.

And so, I’ve come to this point that I’m probably going to remain alone. Outside of a romp or two here or there I have an expiration date when it comes to a relationship. I know that if I do attempt to start one that it’s probably going to end at a point when I stop being interesting. Then again, I can simply be lucky and meet someone who can understand all this which I find hard to believe since I barely understand it myself.

Wear it out (the way a three-year-old would do)
Melt it down (you're gonna have to eventually anyway)

In the end, what matters is that you are true to yourself. There is much to write and understand as well as much to chase. As long as you can find just enough happiness to not interfere with your misery and source of inspiration then you can be fine. To paraphrase what Keanu said, you may need to be happy to exist, I don’t. I’m ok. I’m content with my time spent and my accomplishments. I keep busy and I have other ways to show affection and kindness. I never really like the idea of possession when it comes to love. I find it ironic and a little to selfish in seeing people are a flower in their own personal bouquet instead of happy where it’s growing. I still have things to figure out, but as far as I can piece together I’m fine where I am.

After a few sips and enjoying the fuzzy feelings from witnessing a small act of love, I looked over to my impatient friend. She urinated enough of the surrounding to carry that smile on her face and to ensure that most dogs will wonder where to start. I have a croissant to eat and a workout to plan out. I’m still chewing the concept of being happy in my misery or anger in my case even if I’m not very angry at all. I still giggle at what Banner said in the Avengers, how the secret to avoid his anger was to simply embrace it and be angry.

There is no off.

Wait until the dust settles

You wait and see when the smoke clears

You choose you learn